This is more than just avoiding confrontation. This is about maintaining your own sanity. We’ve all been in situations where we chose to remain calm, and even bite our tongue in order to prevent intense conflict. Sometimes, it is just best to walk away… as in leave….for good.
I had a job once where the boss belittled me to the point of no return. And I mean threw every verbal dart he could possibly think of to diminish my character, reduce my achievements, and destroy the value and worth I had with this company. I had it in me to respond with such anger and with such attitude (and with so many facts that would have completely debunked everything he said, with documentation to back it up!), but I just sat there…and laughed…
Okay, so let me explain…I have what they call “nervous laughter”. In very intense situations I laugh to remain calm and keep myself centered without going berserk. Of course, those around me don’t get it, and they judge me for it (even when they’re the reason I’m “laughing”) and in my situation, it made the boss more upset (he was so red!). But in the end, I was able to remain calm, and as soon as I went home that evening, I put a plan into play.
If previous events didn’t get the message to me, this situation was a clear sign that my time with this company was coming to a close. No one, and I mean NO ONE, should ever allow themselves to be in allegiance with individuals who show that they do not respect them. Disrespect manifests itself in various forms: from not considering you as a person, not taking your thoughts and concerns into account, discrimination, yelling at you publicly for no reason or for minor issues, etc., and it is important to recognize when someone is being disrespectful towards you. In my case, it was not only wrong, but intentional. I am fully convinced that that man wanted to make me feel undeserving and worthless. He was trying to hurt my feelings…… and he did….. so I started working to get out of there.
So, that evening I applied for about four different positions at other locations. One called within a week or so for an interview… A few weeks later I started my new job. And to be honest, I would have eventually walked away even if I hadn’t found another position. It was time to go… I don’t consider myself to be a disrespectful person (I may have moments when I don’t fully think out my words….but it’s not intentional to be hurtful!) and I wanted to leave that way….
Now, this is not to say that every time you and your boss disagree that you should quit your job. This is to say that you deserve respect, regardless of who are, what you are, where you work, your position, etc. No one has the right to treat you like crap just because they sign your paycheck. Likewise, no one has the right to treat you like crap just because they have helped or supported you in some capacity. You are no one’s doormat and you don’t ever have to just lie there and take it!
In the end, this is about knowing when it’s time to just walk away…No amount of money, sex, gifts, etc. is worth your sanity, safety, mental and emotional stability, and happiness. If you have to take a leap of faith….. Do it! I am sure the right resources and people will show up at the right time to open the doors you need to move forward…